| South Park Elementary Newspaper | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Welcome to the South Park Elementary Newspaper. By reading this superb Magazine you�ll be able to find out about every sleazy piece of crap that happened during school that you may just have missed. How could I miss something I hear you ask well you could be going to the toilet, pretending to be ill, really be ill, you could be dead (that�s you Kenny), In detention, chasing after any bits of particularly old bit of school dinner which jumps of your tray and starts running around the room, sciving of school or gone on holiday. Also their is a lunch time menu from Chef, a list of whose got detention after school (So you can go home sick during the day) and news from around the world by Kyle Broslofski. Yes that�s right you can get all that for the kick ass price of $24.95. Editorial by, Stan News From Around The World This part of the South Park Magazine is called News from around the world and it�s written by me Kyle. I�ll keep you informed with a number of different incidents happening in the world now or with ones thst have already happened. I�ll start off by telling you about the NBA finals between the Bulls and the Jazz. It was an absolute kick ass tournament with it all going down to the last seconds of the seventh game and who else but his airness scored a sweeeeeeet basket to win the balls their third NBA Championship in a row. In Other news Cartman was voted the biggest Fat Ass ever to exist. "No I wasn�t you asshole." "You barstard look what you made me write." Bill Clinton has recently been under a lot of trouble due to having sex with a bunch of women (which we�ve been learning about in class. I don�t see what the problem is every one does it and it�s not like you have to sign something saying you can�t do it any more after you become President. Chef�s Menu Monday�s Spaghetti and Chips Fish and Chips Pork and Chips Side Servings Socks and Chips Chips Tuesday�s Chocolate Cake and Chips Mashed Potato and Chips Chicken Soup And Chips Side Servings Onions and Chips Chips Wednesday�s Sausage and Chips Ice Cream and Chips Chicken and Chips Side Servings Gravy and Chips Chips Thursday�s Cheeseburger and Chips Cheesy Poofs and Chips Hot Dog and Chips Side Servings Dead Rats and Chips Chips Friday�s Beef and Chips Celery and Chips Lobster and Chips Side Servings Chips Beverages Monday Coke Lemonade Tuesday Coke Liquadised Chicken Wednesday coke Milk Thursday Coke Chocolate, Strawberry Milkshake Friday Coke Pepsi Cartman Exclusive Pip is a Poof Yesterday at recess Pip was Caught asking Mr. Garrison out to dinner. At first we thought he may have been misquoted until several other incidents just about proved the theory. The first came when we noticed every kid who went to the bog came running out screaming and waving their hands in the air and all that kind of stuff. So our highly trained team of professionals went in to find out what was happening. At first it seemed as though nothing had gone on. Only until one of them went to toilet did they find out what the horror was. He was happily sitting their pants down an� all when a horrid sex driven gay who was later recognised as Pip climbed up the toilet door and stared straight at him. He was so shocked he had a heart attack and later died in surgery so I can�t be quoted on what I just said. Make Your Own South Park Script Have you ever seen South Park and wanted a go at writing a script for the show yourself. Well it may not be made into an episode but if you send it to [email protected] and yours could be printed on this web page. List Of Detentions Eric Sam Joanna Be Be Bob Luanda Kyle "Oh my god I�ve got detention I�m out of here." Stan Exclusive Phsyco Pathic Chickens Destroys Down Town Chicago Yesterday the world was shocked when the most terrible incidents since World War 2 hit Chicago. The Institute for Insane Pets Animals and fifteen different types of Dung Beetle or T.I.F.I.P.A.A.F.D.T.O.D.B. which is a much more confusing abbreviation, which is just outside the giant city of Chicago had a power cut. This then stopped the high powered electric fences from working. Allowing all of the chickens to escape from their rabbit hutches and stampede towards Chicago. Within minutes chickens were pecking peoples eyes out breaking into peoples shops and robbing banks. Almost as quickly as they had come they were gone again leaving the poor, wounded people of Chicago to build their city. You may not have heard about this anywhere else but that was because it was so sick horrible and disgusting that they just couldn�t bear looking at the horrible mess the chickens left behind. | |||||||||||||||||||||||
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I will be moving my belongings in shortly.In the meantime why not check out the link below to get your own 20MB of free webspace?www.fortunecity.com | |||||||||||||||||||||||
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